For my brother, Richard N. Jacob Jr.
8/25/67-8/24/04
This was written by me and read by my husband Alex at the cemetery when we buried my brother's body two weeks ago.This is not an ordinary day, for today we mark the passage of Richie Jacob Jr., a truly extraordinary human being. Today we join together to mourn our loss and to celebrate the profound gift of his life to us.
Richie was not like us in many ways. He could not talk with us. He could not think the way we think and he did not desire the things of this world that most of us desire. Richie could not easily share his experience of the world with us, and many of us have wondered how he saw things from his unique vantage point. What would Richie have said had he been given the chance?
Many of you know Richie’s story – of how he came to be sick as a small infant, and how he was not expected to live past his first year of life. His survival that year was his first miracle, and throughout his life there are many stories of wondrous impossibilities connected to him that can be explained by faith alone. However, sometimes the most profound experiences in life are those we often overlook at first.
And it was in the ordinary times with Richie where the real miracle of his life often took place.
Even as a child his family knew that he was special—not just special because he was different, but special in a way that made his family privileged to be a part of his life and have him in theirs. His family feels blessed because God gave us Richie.
To Richie, every day of life was a miracle. Every breath he drew a challenge to each of us to seize life with the same tenacity, and to experience all the world had to offer. Richard taught us to face the deep fears, to expand the limits of our hope and to never doubt the faith, loyalty and love that we share will carry us forward through any challenge ahead.
Just by living every day, Richie demonstrated an inspiring commitment and dedication to life. Thoughts of our own limitations or personal weaknesses quickly fade when confronted with the quiet strength that carried Richie in his daily routine. Richie made us all stronger.
Automatically, Richie drew compassion, affection, awe, respect, wonder, admiration, and tremendous love from other human beings. Richie made us better people.
In the end, maybe the most influential people in the world are not those with the most of anything but the least.
In this regard, Richard Jacob was the most influential person I have ever known. Like most of the kids Richie lived with at the Hunterdon Developmental Center, no one could enter a room with him and not be deeply touched by his presence.
He stirred us like a beautiful song or painting, and connected directly to our emotions in ways others simply cannot. Because Richie was such a unique man, we all had very different relationships with him. We all had our own individual ways of appreciating him and his time on this earth. But where we are all the same today is in our hearts, where we are all forever changed by the example of his remarkable life.
Given the opportunity to speak for himself here, Richie probably would have said “thank you” to each one of you for the role you have played in his life and in the lives of those he loved. Thank you to his loving and devoted parents and their wonderfully caring spouses; Thank you to the amazing staff at the Developmental Center who provided such good care for him for so many years and put his parents’ and sister’s mind at ease that he was looked after by competent, loving people; Thank you to all of his step-siblings, cousins, nieces, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and thank you to the staff at the hospital where he spent his first and his final days. Thank you for the years of love, patience, courage and unending compassion.
Richie would have also said “I love you all, and remember always--love does not die.”
