(This post is revised - it was 11/7's "Communication with a Social Conservative")
Smart negotiators are masterful at controlling the agenda when they sense a conflict in the needs of two parties. Liberals lose these arguments because we unwittingly engage with conservatives on issues they push publicly like gay marriage, stem-cell research and abortion.
First of all, liberals must see that gay marriage and abortion are not our issues, if we agree that political "issues" are really agenda items that represent social problems that our government must address. From our perspective, the only political issue we have here is that government should not proactively legislate to take away our freedom. Gay marriage and abortion are only issues for social conservatives as the right wing of the Republican party continues its attempts to erode civil liberties and religious freedoms in this country.
As was pointed out to me by a conservative Democrat on dailykos.com (and point well taken), there are plenty of Democrats, often minority voters, who are social conservatives as well. These folks vote both a Democratic ticket and for legislation that erodes personal freedoms under the guise of "moral values." The discussion here is really about:
1. Defending the liberal point of view against attack by social conservatives;
2. Partnering with social moderates over issues like abortion and gay marriage to find workable social solutions to their concerns, when possible, that do not involve legislation;
3. Attacking the social conservative agenda to erode personal freedoms in our country.
It's time for liberals to fight back and stop being so "tolerant" (our hallmark) of the attack on our personal liberties. We need to take control of the public discourse and insist the social conservatives address our issues - freedom from oppressive governments, social and economic justice and protecting the environment. As many Republican policies naturally undermine these fundamental American values, this should be fairly easy to do.
Mission: Verbal defense against a "moral values" voter
Objective: Regain control of the agenda
As liberals, we must realize that our agenda is not about "abortion" and it is not about "choice." Choices are important, but they are not essential to life. Life is essential to life. In the game of soundbites and heartstrings, "life" will beat "choice" every time like rock beats scissors. However, there is really no need to discuss "choice" or even "abortion" with anyone who tells you they are "pro-life." Such discussions require calmness of heart, something many of our socially conservative friends don't have when they discuss these issues. They are too frustrated from trying to exert control over other people's lives.
Therefore, we should never argue about "abortion" or "choice" with social conservatives. Instead, we should change the subject to things we are angry and upset about - such as the erosion of our freedom and the destruction of life in other countries as well as the inability to care for children in poor communities. (If those positions aren't "pro-life" I don't know what is...)
To boil it down, the liberal's agenda boils down to freedom and justice (equality). All other political issues evolve from these "fundamental" American values. All the red-state voters understand these super-man/pledge of allegiance values. These are the values we should discuss when social conservatives attack our positions on abortion (reproductive rights), gay marriage, or stem-cell research. Here's an example of how the new argument might sound:
Abortion is murder! God says we will go to hell if we allow abortions to go on!
Living under an oppressive government is hell. Americans have died fighting for our freedoms. Americans are now dying in Iraq for their belief in American freedom. We are all guaranteed religious freedom in America.
Homosexuality is an abomination!
Stem-cell research is against the will of God. We must ban it!
Persecution of people with different religious beliefs is Un-American! Are you saying freedom is bad? Are you saying that it's okay to oppress people for their religious beliefs? Why do you hate freedom?
---
You simply change the subject and use equally compelling language. "Freedom" is a stronger match for "life" as we all know "Give me liberty or give me death." Now they must either admit they "hate freedom" or hopefully, even better, just shut up. Best case scenario, although rather unlikely, is that this helps create an internal conflict for the "pro-life" conservative as they are faced with a complex issue - "pro-life" v. "pro-freedom."
Now, let's take the handful of social moderates and conservatives who do have some sort of internal conflict going on between the policies of their party and their feelings about the importance of freedom.
Mission: Relocate the wedge to the right of the moderates.
Objective: Talk about abortion with a moderate Republican.
If we take the initiative to talk about abortion or any other wedge issue with a social moderate or conservative, we must be empathic so we can come to know and respect the needs of the other point of view.
For example, once we understand the social conservative's need to reduce the overall number of abortions in our country, we can probably also agree that while women's reporductive rights should be sacred, no woman enjoys abortion. Reducing the number of abortions in our country can also translate to policies that support better options in birth control, education, housing and childcare. These are on the social agenda of democrats.
In recognizing this, I think we need to quickly focus this discussion on strategies that will help lower the number of abortions without legislation. This way we meet their need to see fewer abortions and our needs to live in a free society. We also partner with a moderate person and hopefully help them see our point of view on freedom, social and economic justice and tolerance.
Following this logic, things we can reasonably say about abortion are something along the lines of:
You feel that there should be fewer abortions? So do I. Yet adoption is such a painful choice for many women who choose to have their babies. How can we better support women so that they don't feel compelled to have an abortion?
What about a girl who was raped by her father? What are your feelings about that?
Could we reduce the number of abortions by helping to create better childcare/education/job birth control options for women?
The idea here is to respect and answer to their needs for fewer abortions without legislation. Solutions that will both help to significantly reduce the number of abortions while protecting women's rights in a free society usually work for most people.
I believe there are few Americans who want an oppressive government. Those Americans who do are likely the very fringe of the fundamentalist Christians who believe they are waging a Holy War against the rest of the world. While I believe we need effective strategies to reach out to these folks, it's very unlikely we will change their minds or hearts about us.
However, for the rest of the conservatives who vote moral values but do not want oppressive government (such as those who oppose what they used to call "tax and spend liberal policies"), we can use the common ground of "freedom" as a bridge and make the alliance with the moderates. This could have the effect of relocating the "wedge" from between us and them and placing it between them and the extreme right; those who do advocate for government involvement in people's personal lives.
Last but not least, we need to be proactive in attacking the right-wing of the Republican party for their attack ohn freedom, justice and the environment. Opposition to the Iraq war, massive public outreach and education about the environment, and public discussion about the important of religious freedom and the sanctity of our Constitution and Bill of Rights ios demanded here. Let's go on the offensive here.
Ever notice how Republicans will not discuss basic freedom for Americans, as much as they like to talk about the wonderful "Freedom" we are bringing to Iraq as I write this? They talk about "taxes" for Americans. That's not the same thing. Freedom from oppressive social government, social justice and protection of the environment are strong Democratic issues. Republican policies are oppressive as they restrict basic freedoms while undermining economic and social justice for our poor communities and women. We must raise the flag here and call them out.
I am suggesting that
1. We proactively confront conservative Republicans for their policies that assault religious freedom and social/economic justice by their attempts to legislate private behavior and their continued unilateral support for an injust war.
2. In our day to day conversations with coworkers, family, or others who might have voted for religious values, we should "change the subject" and turn their attention to things government should protect, like truth, freedom, justice and civil liberties. We should no longer quietly tolerate our friends slandering gay marriage or women's rights. We should not be "tolerant" of bigotry against any group.
In every conversation, we must speak out against religious oppression, discrimination, and the domestic agenda to erode our basic rights. In other words, we need to change the agenda to our own.
Because, really, when you make yourself a champion of truth, justice, freedom and the American way, what American can effectively disagree with you?
